“Graduate students have a very specific set of challenges apart from undergrads. One that many people have highlighted is isolation and loneliness,” says Peters. “When you specialize in a masters, or PhD and postdoctoral fellowship it becomes a very, very, small set of people that you engage with, in a very, very, specific environment, and if you’re dealing with some sort of mental health issue it can really be isolating.”
My research has led me to discover some interesting things. When I started my masters degree, I was given a project that focused on mental health. (Editor's note: you can follow this link if you'd like to see my 3 Minute Thesis on the topic). Ironically, though, that first year of my masters was also one of the most difficult times in my life struggling with maintaining my mental health. I would timidly speak with my fellow graduate students about grad school, and the feelings seemed pretty mutual:
1) No one knew how to determine what their thesis was to be.
2) We felt like imposters, or as though everyone else had their act together.
3) It could be pretty lonely, especially in comparison to undergrad.
Undergrad was like riding a unicorn. Looking at it, it seemed so special and magical. Getting on was a little scary, but you couldn't help but gloat a little. "I get to ride a unicorn" you thought. At first, some people were naturals while others struggled. Over the years, there were times we hated it and questioned why we ever wanted to ride the damn thing, times we were madly in love with it, and times where we wondered if the whole thing was a lie. Eventually, those who graduated got to ride off of campus with a rainbow trailing behind them.
1) No one knew how to determine what their thesis was to be.
2) We felt like imposters, or as though everyone else had their act together.
3) It could be pretty lonely, especially in comparison to undergrad.
Undergrad was like riding a unicorn. Looking at it, it seemed so special and magical. Getting on was a little scary, but you couldn't help but gloat a little. "I get to ride a unicorn" you thought. At first, some people were naturals while others struggled. Over the years, there were times we hated it and questioned why we ever wanted to ride the damn thing, times we were madly in love with it, and times where we wondered if the whole thing was a lie. Eventually, those who graduated got to ride off of campus with a rainbow trailing behind them.
For those who choose grad school, you're left trotting through the woods on a sparkly unicorn, feeling lost, confused, and not at all prepared. Damnit, you'd think, I have a UNICORN! Why am I not living on cotton candy clouds? Well, dear friends, it's because as magical as unicorns are, they have no f--king clue where to go. They may be magical, but they're useless without directions. | Undergrad was like riding a unicorn. [...] They may be magical, but they're useless without directions. |
But I'm beginning to digress. Let's re-focus. (My apologies. Unicorns tend to distract me.)
In graduate school, I got the message that this was where I was to become an independent scholar. For me, that mentality made social connections difficult. Just like in the opening quote, my environment felt isolating. In previous years, when I struggled, I had family or close friends by my side to lean on. In BC, many of my "nearest and dearest" were no longer "nearest" and it was hard to find consolation in acquaintances. This led to a unique mental health struggle, and it resulted in me feeling all the negative feelings that I had worked so hard to get rid of in 2012.
As Spring rolled around, my unhappiness peaked and I found my breaking point. I realized that if I was continually searching for alternatives for every aspect of my life, then I couldn't have been that happy. I always believed that I valued my happiness the most, and yet here I was, sacrificing my happiness for prestige!
So what have I decided to do? I've decided to re-evaluate my current situation, and to answer these 2 questions:
In graduate school, I got the message that this was where I was to become an independent scholar. For me, that mentality made social connections difficult. Just like in the opening quote, my environment felt isolating. In previous years, when I struggled, I had family or close friends by my side to lean on. In BC, many of my "nearest and dearest" were no longer "nearest" and it was hard to find consolation in acquaintances. This led to a unique mental health struggle, and it resulted in me feeling all the negative feelings that I had worked so hard to get rid of in 2012.
As Spring rolled around, my unhappiness peaked and I found my breaking point. I realized that if I was continually searching for alternatives for every aspect of my life, then I couldn't have been that happy. I always believed that I valued my happiness the most, and yet here I was, sacrificing my happiness for prestige!
So what have I decided to do? I've decided to re-evaluate my current situation, and to answer these 2 questions:
- If I could be anywhere right now, where would I be?
- If I could complete the sentence "I'm a ___________" any way I wanted, what would make me proudest?